Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
