don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
