so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
