She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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