YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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