Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
