Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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