Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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