I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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