She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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