One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
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