is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
