Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
