im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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