There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
