it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
