This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
