we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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