You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
