By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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