mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
