She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
