dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
