I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
