Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize