I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
