It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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