The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
