You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
