coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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