I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
