just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
