Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
