i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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