So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Randomize
