well most of my day revolves around power hour
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
