You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I have fence marks all over my body
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
