ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
