i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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