ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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