i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
