Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
