How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
