I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
pray to the hookup gods
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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