It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
