This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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