Non-Jews are for practice
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
