So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize