You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize