I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
