I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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