he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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