wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He better not be in your backpack
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
