I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
