im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
The beer is more important than you right now.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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