I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Who died my cat blue again?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
