i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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