New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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