Kiss
Puke
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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