I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I think a kid would responsible me up
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize